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FOR = YOUR EYES ONLY

U= npublished Barak Obama speech.

<= /span>My dear fellow Kenyans (make it Americans),

<= /span>After visiting all 57 states and Indonesia (a visionary look around) I understood that I liked you, brothers, while my wife likes the country now = and especially the White House part of it.&nbs= p; It feels just fine now. (Friendly smile) My mother in law adores the r= ose garden and the 24 hours room service for free. Who said there is no such thing as= a free lunch? (Chuckle) If you are open to any proposition= , no matter how controversial it might be, and your comrades work hard organizing communities using the taxpayer’s money that were squeezed from the system, you get everything for free. You and your comrades become rich, powerful and running the country.= (Another visionary look) Now, back to us. (Deep smile)= Children love the freedom. For the first time in their short = but so educational lives they can order anyone (including cops, agents and general= s) to do anything. This is good = for their moral and that is how good father should raise his children. Everything is good so we think we = would stay in this wonderful country and be all we can be. We are with you, brothers, all the= way.

I know t= hat many of you don’t have much to offer but you gave it all when elected me.<= span style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> (Wide smile of a cat that ate a canary) Now it’s time to pay you back. (A couple of seconds delay nodding your head) I am going to be just. People that gave me more would get= much more in return and people that gave me a little would get very little. Time for redistribution of wealth = is now. Give them the freedom! Give them respect! Give them the wealth! Give them what they want taking it= from people that have it already. = You had it for a while and let the next guy have it for a while. Redistribute whatever you have and= show the brotherly love. (A visionary look and then a dreamy look around) Some people need more whil= e the rest of you can use less. I remember well teachings of my church and advices of my goo= d friends that I chose carefully even when I was a student. (Firmly stare in to the camera)

My job n= ow is not much different from before. We have to organize community giving unlimited powers to the organizers. Our volunteers would roam the coun= try organizing, reorganizing and redistributing wealth. (= A look to one side of the room and then the other side of the room) <= /span> Our volunteers should apply all ava= ilable methods of persuading “the opposing” side to move in the right direction peacefully nudging them little by little to where we want them to be. (Firm but searching look around the room) Now, I want to make sure that we a= re fiscally responsible doing that. I am just cleaning the mass left by someone else but they criticize how I hold the broom. I would not sign a= bill that is not paid for and where we add to the deficit. If one has something = and the other nothing, we would redistribute it so both of them have nothing. That is just fair. If you have a lot and are just too= big to fail, we would bail you out. We would increase taxes only on the rich so 95% of people would not be taxed.<= span style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> (A little silence) Do we have 5% of rich people? Th= en, we have 5% too many. (A stare with a question) Well, on the streets, where I came= from, if you had $250 or more, you are rich.&nbs= p; Tax them, rich people. Soon these people with $250 would be reduced to only 5% of our population and th= at would match the statistics. W= e are not going to tax anything else but soda because it’s not good for you. (A dismissive gesture with a hand) A 5% tax should be good enough for that. Energy comes to mind. Let’s tax it another 10% or = more. My advisors would decide on that soon. (Nod of the head) W= e need it and you don’t. Healt= hcare! You think it’s too expensive? Let’s double= its cost because we need money to pay for the healthcare. The more expensive the healthcare = is the less you are going to use it and, therefore, you save on the long run. You’ll realize it when I am gone. (A smile of someone who knows) If we make it so expensive that you don’t use it at all, think how much you would save. You would save it all less the cos= t of the government insurance you would afraid to use. (Another nod of the head and a stare) Abortion! We would not pay for that unless y= ou are a woman and, if a man, we would give you a condom, one a month. (A serious look of a teacher reprimanding a pupil and a visionary) Use it conservatively and = be safe. I am going to consult t= he unions on that and appoint a new advisor to oversee this program. You call them Czars. I don’t. (Smile)

Now jail= s, my fellow Kenyans (make it Americans). What kind of people you find in jails? Do you know? Have you ever thought about it? (A stare with a question) My close advisors (some are gone already but still advising me from = the outside the White House) tell me that the most aggressive entrepreneurs usu= ally end up in jail. It’s not their fault; it’s the society full of injustice when it comes to the green jobs. (A dismissive gesture with a hand and nod of the head) Well, I was lucky and did not end = up there, not yet, anyway. This = was a missed opportunity. I believe= we should employ the grass roots of this “going to jail” movement = tapping to this unique resource. They= can show us how to run a successful enterprise even from a remote location behi= nd the bars. So, let’s org= anize them, if they are not organized already, and redistribute the wealth. That is our civilian arm of volunt= eers, right there, right in front of us. <= /span>(A slow, dreamy, visionary look around the room)<= /span>

<= /span>As you know my fellow Indonesians (make it Americans) I have a lot on my plate= and I like to eat slowly. Should = we send more troops to = Afghanistan? No. We should send them to = Chicago to help brothers with organizing. That would be more productive. Russians… Nice guys. They maybe a little con= fused but giving time, after they refine Uranium for Iranians, they would come ar= ound helping us with negotiations. I am not sure what we would negotiate then but Russians would help. Chinese? They are just Chinese. North Koreans are not like Chinese= and more like Koreans but from the North. Now, Muslims, the freedom fighters!= That’s a big issue. We could give them the freedom, respect and the wealth but they have more weal= th than we do. So, let’s b= ring all of them to New York and redistribute it to our liking. Can we do it? Is it smart? Our Department of Just= ice may have some thoughts on the subject and I trust them. They are just and they had a few thoughts before. So, to concl= ude our short meeting today, let me state that, if you have any problems with a= nything I said, you could be an un-American or plainly stupid but you always can co= me to the White House for a talk with me and Joe and have a few beers.

God Bless you my fellow M= uslims (make it Americans). (Huge smile and a firm stare)

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